SO DO WE WRITE OUR OWN VOWS ?
We are so fortunate today that your wedding ceremony can be as you as you want it to be. There are of course components that need to be included to ensure it maintains its legal integrity, but for the rest of it, its up to you!
The first recorded wedding vows where penned in the mid 1500 where upon agreement to marry, the Church of England would offered couples a choice. They could both promise each other to ‘love and cherish’ or alternatively, the groom promises to ‘love, cherish and worship’ while the bride to ‘love, cherish and obey.’
While I have met some partners that were keen to include the “obey” element, that’s about the only time its mentioned (usually with a sheepish grin on the face of the Bridegroom!) and the term has gone by the way with “Speak now or forever hold your peace” or “until death do we part”. Life has changed considerably since the 1500 so too have weddings and what is considered traditional.
In most cases couples find this a great point to start and can cut and paste a little from here, a little from there; they add a little from themselves and a little bit of their partner; add dash of humor, a dollop of romance and craft themselves a heartfelt commitment statement.
So when it comes to the vows, I have been heard to say with great regularity that “there just isn’t anything you can’t Google!” and that where I encourage people to start, cause starting is the hardest part. You know in your heart what you feel but sometimes finding the right words can be near impossible. My favorite site for directing couples to in the first instance is
My Wedding Vows . Here you will find vows shared by Brides and Grooms, just like you, trying to find just the right words.
There are also some good questions to be found at
About.com Weddings that help as well.
By definition this part of the ceremony is what you are committing to in relation to you marriage and your partner. Despite the temptation to suggest that he always put the lid back on the toothpaste and she remove her hair from the shower drain, this is about you! The one big chance to be a bit romantic and a lot sincere and not cop any flack!
Remember that you are not on your own in this task, your celebrant is also very experience, so don’t hesitate to ask, they may have some to share or can sit with you to write them with you. But most of all be guided by your heart and don’t let fear stand between you and a beautiful shared moment.
“Tracey, conducted our wedding on Saturday 23 June 2012. The actual wedding was a surprise to everyone present who thought they were attending a birthday party! (She definitely knows how to keep a secret) Tracey listened patiently to what we wanted and gave us many suggestions for a ceremony. When I blended them together and made a “short and sweet” version, she was nothing but supportive. We thoroughly appreciate her time and patience and particularly her input and experience throughout the process. We would not hesitate to recommend her to any couple wanting to tie the knot! Thanks Tracey.”
– Nola and Robert Kerridge